Buddy Got Rich Selling "Mary E." Masks!

      "Are you going with us?"

      I was so lost in thought the question reflected off my noggin and bounced over there by Alice's looking glass.

      "Kes?"

      I was no rookie. We had graduated to the second grade. The elementary school had become familiar territory. All those stories Leon had told us about little men in the cloak room and teachers taking out their frustrations on wayward scholars had proved to be figments of HIS imagination. And Mr. McIver had not once, in our whole first year, choked anyone until they turned green!

      "Kesley?"

      We were back around to that Halloween thing. It was 1954. And I was beginning to realize life moved in circles. A year of schooling will do that to you. We had New Year's Day, Valentine's, Easter, 4th of July, Armistice Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. And to show you how unoriginal adults were, they seemed perfectly content not to have to think up any new ones. There were no adjustments. No rearranging. Apparently, they had this set order of things and that's the way it was.

      I was not unappreciative. And I enjoyed each one....especially Thanksgiving and Christmas because we got out of school. Valentine's didn't make any sense to us then but you could buy a package of fifty "I love you" cards down at the Ben Franklin Store for twenty-five cents. That was important because Miss Carolyn made you give one to everybody in the first grade! I liked the fireworks and the flag waving of the 4th and the old men in the green hats on Armistice Day. Easter turned serious after you found all the eggs. And New Year's Day was a mixed blessing. You looked forward to a new year but you had to go back to school!

      Halloween was o.k., I was just having trouble as an eight year old trying to figure out this witches and ghouls thing. Why was she riding a broom? I know I'm pretty young-but that is going to take some serious explaining! Orange and black were horrific colors! I didn't like spider webs and sheeted hoods. Turning the lights out and creeping up on people might be exciting...if you were the creep-er and not the creep-ee! But who, in their right mind, came up with a rubber mask with a bloody hatchet hammered into the skull? Mary E. Pendleton came to school wearing that witches mask with the big nose and the wart on the end. It was gross! Of course, during the blue bird reading class Buddy Wiggleton leaned over to her and said, "Mary E., would you mind putting that mask back on."

      Somebody with a sure enough twisted mind invented Halloween! Leon reckoned it was thought up by a pumpkin farmer. The only pumpkin farmers that'd I ever seen didn't have a ghoulish bone in their bodies.      

      What exactly were we celebrating?

      I tell you, life can seem a little strange, when you're just getting settled into the second grade. School can't teach you everything in a year and a half.

      "Kesley, are you going?"

      Last Halloween Bobby Brewer had poured that rubbing alcohol from Mrs. Boaz's front steps all he way down her sidewalk out to Stonewall Street. I knocked on the door and ran like the wind. Bobby waited just a few seconds and lit the alcohol. Mrs. Boaz opened the front door as the fames leapt toward her. It must'a been some sight! We didn't actually see it. We had vacated the premises to avoid detection! We were enjoying our escapade from the shadows of the big bushes in Terry Kennon's side yard. It was one of the best "gags" I never saw. Now, you stop and think about the sanity of that one...

      The cherry bombs in the mail boxes made a lot more sense. And with those short fuses we were never very far away when the door blew off the hinges. We were trying as hard as we could to celebrate the holiday in a proper fashion.

      Vampires were another whole ball game. We, of course, didn't believe in them. Except when that Bela Lugosi guy smiled in "Count Dracula"! And sure, there was no such thing as ghosts, monsters or haunted edifices. But we were not about to run out and explore that old deserted house between Luther Purvis's place and Max Manley's farm. I'd seen the lights myself! And once, when I was coming back from Reeder's store, I heard a woman screaming up there.

      I liked the carnival. They moved the chairs out of the high school auditorium each Halloween and set up booths where you could throw darts, bob for apples, fish for prizes and walk for a cake. But it just added to my confusion. What did bobbing for apples have to do with goblins and monsters? Aside from an occasional pumpkin pie there was nothing to even remotely suggest a possible connection between a most docile cake walk and diabolical fiends and nightmares on Elm Street. Maybe I wasn't old enough to understand...

      Was life supposed to be this twisted and convoluted? Is this the best October "holiday" grown men and women can come up with? Will the light bulb "come on" when we all get to junior high? It makes you wonder if there aren't people out there who actually believe in underworld creatures and blood thirsty bats. It's enough to make your neck hurt.

      Maybe it was some kind of deal where once a year man has to manifest his inner self in some kind of sinister, creepy, frightening way. Or maybe, Leon is right, it's just a good way to market pumpkins and candy.

      "Kesley, for the last time, are you going trick or treatin' with us!"

      "Heck yeah, let me get my big bag and my Lone Ranger mask so no one will recognize me."

      If someone is giving out free Baby Ruths and Butterfingers, I don't need to philosophy on that!       

           Respectfully,

                        Kes