Letting Sleeping Dogs Lie…..

I got an invitation to “explore” my family tree on something called ancestry.com. It didn’t take longer than a cursory look to pass on this one. It sounds interesting; even intriguing…..but I reckon I know more now about some of my grandparents’ first cousins than I want to! You go delving into that stuff and you may wake up some scarecrows, horse thieves, hairy chested ladies…..or worse hanging on your family tree!

I hear people refer, with a great amount of pride, to one of their ancestors “coming over on the Mayflower”. At first glance this would be a worthy nod to any family heritage. But upon further review, I recall most of those passengers were seeking a land where they could “do their own thing”….. Sounds like a group of malcontents. Rebel rousers! Maybe they weren’t satisfied with the pastor in the old world. If they had been “fitting in” at home, they wouldn’t have gotten in the ship to start with!

There was a boat that beat the Mayflower here by a whole year. Its passengers were all women. And I don’t see any blogs or Facebook postings relating back to those girls as someone’s special branch in the tree. English entrepreneurs realized very early that mostly men were landing in America to work for John Rolfe, the East India Company or the Acme Shipyards. To really settle the land, to be content and remain here, they needed families…..hence, the female ship.

History may not exactly record this, but what type ladies do you think would get on a boat that was sailing to a hard, new land where big sweaty men were trying to make a go of it in the insect infected tidewaters of coastal America? I dare say the intelligent good looking ones were content to marry a rich prince and live in Liverpool or South Hampton. I don’t want to pay good money to find out my great, great, great, great, great grandmother was hustled out of a London prison, tied to a quarter rail, survived a month long voyage across the Atlantic and wedded the first ugly bachelor who spied her coming off the boat!

Ignorance is bliss.

I would love to be kin to one of those brave soldiers at Valley Forge. But some of them didn’t choose to hang around when the food and the temperature dropped. A few slipped away under the cover of darkness. I would love to know that great, great, etc. Uncle Elwood stuck it out and even gave Von Steuben close order marching tips. I don’t want to find out Uncle Elwood stole a rifle, some Quaker’s oats, borrowed a horse and skedaddled back to Richmond.

Is there such a thing as “selected” family trees?

Logan Colbert is a known ancestor. He was a Chickasaw Indian wahooing around northern Mississippi back in the 1800’s. He was actually governor of the Chickasaw Nation at one time. You’d think that would be a good thing…..but there is this lingering question about misappropriations of government funds that never reached the local lodges. And the word was Logan had this crazy idea about opening up gambling casinos on tribal lands.

My great, great….grandfather could have been at the Alamo. The question that I don’t need answered is which side? The same could hold true for the Civil War. Ye gads! Kin to a bluecoat! I couldn’t sleep at night!

Lord a mercy, I’ve got enough relatives that I do know about! Uncle Lloyd spent so much time in the Lawrenceburg city jail they named a cell for him. The word was he liked fast horses and marked cards. And he might have sampled some of the “light crude” he was producing at a still just north of Bonnertown. Aunt Ruby Nell could cause a scene just by showing up. I’ve seen those family portraits of Granny’s parents. They are never smiling. It makes you think they’ve got something really diabolical and dark that they are not about to share with the offspring! And no, I don’t want to pay money to find out what it is!

What I need is “Hide-an-aunt.com”.

Uncle F. D. moved to Portland, Oregon, the first chance he got. That was getting as far away as he could. And I thought he was the sanest one of the whole group! I have spent years trying to figure out what key he unlocked about the family that precipitated his transcontinental trek. Maybe he clicked onto that ancestor dot thing before it became fashionable.

Mother’s maiden name was Kennedy. Her clan migrated to America after a potato famine in Ireland put them out of business. They first settled in Boston and Hyannis Port but the smart ones headed for Tennessee just as fast as they could. It is left up to the individual to decide if a Kennedy linage is one to share with a neighbor, or not.

I took a couple of looks at Cathy’s sisters and knew I didn’t want to dig too far back in this family. I was marrying her. I didn’t want the whole tree! I heard more tales about Daddy Brown and Aunt Robbie. Then I met Little Jane.... I moved to Florida the next day!         

A fellow gets too deep in that ancestor thing he either starts bragging to high Heaven or he is ashamed as all get out. It seems to me that neither of those is a sterling proposition. Wouldn’t we be better off if we quit digging in the past and started thinking, and living, a legacy that our grand children could be proud of? The money we save by not investing it in the past, we can use to enhance the youngest branch’s future.

If you need a handsome woman or a courageous man on your family tree……I’ll loan you one of mine…… Uh, ummm, if I can shake one out……

Respectfully,

Kes