Cranks My Tractor

What is it? What is it that makes us think we are better (or smaller) than we are? I guess that’s easy. It is vanity or needing a “warm fuzzy” as I like to call it. Is it bad? Not necessarily, unless it really messes things up for other people.

I did not know about this thing called “vanity sizing.” I’m a man, how am supposed to know about such things? Recently, I had a good friend explain it to me. It basically comes down to the fact that clothing people are changing what things are (sizes) to make folks feel better about themselves.

With women’s clothing, it seems that over the years the sizes have gotten smaller or larger or messed up (a lot). If you were a size 6 in 1960, you were able to wear a size 4 in 1970. That same size 6 in 1960 would be size 00 today. I think the closer to zero you are in women’s clothing, the smaller you are supposed to be. I don’t know. I just know that this seems to be kind of confusing and a little vane.

This vanity sizing in women’s clothing does explain a couple of things that have always puzzled me. One being the reason it takes women so long to shop for clothes and the other being the reason they have to try on everything in the store. They really have no idea what size they are on any given day. How could they?

This “Vanity Fantasy” has spilled over into everything else we do. Just think about it, the folks at the bank want you to buy more house than you can afford. The folks at the car lot will let you take an extra year or two to pay for that fancy vehicle (that you deserve).

Do you have children or have you ever been to school? This vanity fantasy takes place in the schools every day. What used to be a C+ or a B- is now an A. Why? It’s simple - More A’s mean happier parents and less controversy for everyone.

Get your warm fuzzies right here!

I’ve taught college math courses for over 15 years, students are quick to ask for extra credit and tell me that I’m ruining their perfect GPA. I’m equally quick in telling them that I don’t believe in extra credit and also that perfect GPA’s don’t mean much either.

What about grade point averages? Students are graduating high school with GPA’s of 4.9 and 5.0 on a 4.0 scale. Hmmm, does that mean they are “better than the best?” I understand that they take advanced classes and they have to do something about taking those into consideration, it just seems all out of whack to me.

I think it’s ok to keep score.

I think we need to lose more, to fail more and to make more C’s. If you don’t, you live life in this vanity fantasy and you don’t really appreciate the good stuff (which really has nothing to do with any of this).

After researching this vanity sizing more, I found out that clothing designers do this with men’s clothes as well. I found a “cheat sheet” of sorts that explained what a pair a pants with a 36 inch waistline actually is. With one brand, it actually is 37 inches. The rest went way on up, with one well known brand’s 36 inch pants actually accommodating a fellow with a 41 inch waist.

Do you think he feels better? Probably.

Do you think he weighs less? No.

I’m sure there are “vanity scales” to handle that situation.

If they want to help me out with this vanity sizing, I might have a suggestion or two. I don’t have any trouble with the waist business. I know I have a 35 inch waist - a real one. I’m good with it.

However, I also know I have a 29 inch inseam. Do you know how embarrassing it is to be a hair under 6 feet tall and have a 29 inch inseam? People stand around the store looking at the sizes and ask questions like “Who has a 29 inch inseam?”

They hold a pair of 34” x 29” pants up and say things like “This guy must look funny,” or “You have to be kidding me.”

I have a Fred Flintstone body, I’m used to it.

Envy me when it comes clearance time, the 29 inch inseam pants are always still there.

The clothing industry doesn’t need to change the inseam sizes to make me feel better about myself.

However, some little stickers to go over the sizes on the back of my jeans might be nice though. I could change the 29 to a 34. 

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