Support for Life's Curveballs

Something strange happened to Joann Gallagher after her husband passed away about five months ago.

Her patients at Quest Diagnostics in Port St. Joe, where she is one of the top painless needle-wielders one can find, came to provide solace.

And Gallagher, a former nurse, came to find that she was often the one providing any peace.

Patients, heck some become friends over time, carried in a good heart and intentions in the door, but Gallagher was often providing the soothing balm for the soul by the time they had exited.

“I had a healing process by helping these people,” Gallagher explained.

Folks would come into hug and cheer Gallagher and Gallagher would end up the hugger and the one doing the cheering up.

She was told she was never going to heal the wound in her heart, that there would always be an emptiness, a thought that somewhat horrified Gallagher.

“I thought my God, I’m not even 60 yet and (a parent) lived to be 94 so I have good genes and a lot of years left,” Gallagher said. “I don’t want them to spend them being sad all the time.”

Gallagher considered the options available to her in regarding seeking any assistance with the personal pain of grief, one of those emotions for which others might have empathy, but lack true understanding through no fault of their own or a displaced heart.

“Everybody grieves privately, it is a very personal process,” Gallagher said. “Most of us just want to live a manageable life without a lot of sadness.”

But for folks in Gulf County, she found, a safety net was not easily draped. Yes, there were outreach groups, such as those offered by Covenant Hospice, but that required a drive to Panama City.

And too often that also meant a drive back in the dark, not an appetizing alternative for people often alone and older in years.

A thought kept nagging at Gallagher – what about forming a support group?

Here in Gulf County with community folks joining together for fellowship and just to talk.

For months after her husband’s passing the thought kept tugging at Gallagher.

She also started to notice that her office at Quest was often turning into something of a meeting place for folks who had recently undergone the kind of change she had experienced.

Friends pushed her, wondering when she was going to start that group.

The friend would recruit, she said, Gallagher could lead.

But she worked, Gallagher thought, and do I really have time for this, she wondered.

One day she was in the back room at work, taking some blood and the woman in the chair was crying over a recent loss.

Out in the waiting room a man sat and quietly sobbed after telling Gallagher of his own recent loss.

A light bulb went off.

“It was like God sending me a message, ‘You can do this Joann,’” Gallagher said.

So she began to explore her options.

Her friend, the recruiter, was already busy and Gallagher sought help on a place to meet from the Senior Citizens Center in Port St. Joe.

“They were so wonderful,” Gallagher said.

And through sheer word-of-mouth 12 people showed up at the first meeting of what Gallagher calls her “Life Change Group.”

Be it due to a death, divorce or having to place a loved one in a nursing facility, Gallagher and her group welcomes any member, male or female.

“We are focused on the moving on part,” Gallagher said. “There is really noting like this here except through a church affiliation.

“No one has to talk, there is no pressure. Everybody can take whatever they want from what we have to offer. This group offers the chance to be around other people who have also been through big changes in their lives such as losing a loved one or having to put a loved one in a nursing home.”

The next meeting will include a speaker, Mark Friedman, who will provide financial advice.

“We just want to be more knowledgeable and move in a positive direction,” Gallagher said, emphasizing this is a not a group for wallowing, but camaraderie and community.

“We invite anybody, this is a grassroots effort,” Gallagher said.

The next meeting of the “Life Change Group” will be from 4:30-6 p.m. on March 18 at the Senior Citizens Center in Port St. Joe.

Life brings change. Gallagher shockingly found that out five months ago.

And she has found that gathering together for some fellowship, learning as she does, that the hole in her heart may not heal, but she can move forward and help pull others along the way.

Life’s changes, she has found, can have some positives.