Unborn Child Gets Jump On Me

Published: Thursday, August 29, 2013 at 08:57 AM.

            I raced two brothers to the bathroom for years!

            So Jess, I have my share of run-offs. I’ve won a few and seen the back side of such luminaries as Joe Gooch, Martin Paschall and Bobby King as they sped by me. But that was yesterday…..

            I’m just running now for fun. I try to stay out of everybody’s way and ease along at a leisurely pace. And I’ve certainly reached the age that I’m not going to train for anything!

            Jessica called. “KK, do you want me to enter you in the 5 K on St. George Island.” Well, you now how special and sweet those daughter-in-laws can be. I was thinking no and I meant no and I aimed to say no……but yes popped out!

            Folks, some real diabolical running people held this race at six pm, in August, in Florida! It was a hundred and ten in the shade! Except there weren’t no shade! It was hotter than blue blazes. I’m thinking riding over they are going to call this whole thing off because ain’t nobody going to show up and run in this heat.

            Three hundred and seventeen people lined up beside me! There were eleven year old girls loosening up. A gentleman that had to be older than baseball hobbled in behind me.  He had skinny legs, a GI haircut and T.R. tattooed on his arm. I figured him to be an army officer that had plunged up San Juan Hill with Teddy Roosevelt. “I like your shoes”, the elderly lady beside me made polite conversation as the starter raised his hand. I instinctively looked down; she had on some kind of painted socks instead of shoes! What have I gotten myself into—

            Somebody yelled, “Go”. I had to run…..or get run over! I took off like Vicki Fields was right on my heels! My chest was pounding before I reached the half mile mark. Sweat was stinging my eyes. My knee hurt. By the second mile marker I was seeing desert sands stretching out before me. Lights were shinning from somewhere far off. The air was so hot and humid I absolutely could not breathe. My heart was beating so ferociously I couldn’t hear my good sense yelling for me to stop! It became abundantly clear why they call this race The Sizzler!

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