Wile E. Coyote Can Talk A Good Game!

Published: Tuesday, September 11, 2012 at 03:58 PM.

Someone asked if I watched any of the Republican Convention on TV. Are you kidding me? I didn’t even accidentally scroll by it. I was busy with some “live action” on “The Call of the Wildman”. If they’ve already had the Democratic Convention, I missed that one, too. If it is yet to come, I’ve been preparing for it by taping “Cajun Pawn Stars” and “Swamp People”.

Didn’t we learn anything from “Forty Acres and a Mule”?

In 1928 the big promise was “A chicken in every pot, a car in every garage”. Let’s review a minute. The stock market crashed in October of 1929. The Great Depression rolled in like an unwanted tsunami. The chicken turned into an apple if you could beg it and Henry Ford discovered that folks weren’t so almighty hot for a tin lizzie when they realized they couldn’t eat it! The garage, of course, had already blown plum across Oklahoma.

When are we going to figure out some of these candidates might overstate their abilities and possibilities on occasion? No one can split an infinitive, dangle a carrot participle or tap dance around syntax like a good politician!

My personal favorite is John C. Fremont running for the presidency in 1856 on the campaign promise of “Free Soil, Free Labor, Free Speech, Free Men and Fremont”. Now folks, that about tops the charts for campaign braggadocio! I believe if he’d a’thrown in free HD TV and a Ronco Veg-i-matic in every kitchen, he’d a’left James Buchanan lying in the dust. Buchanan won that election by only promising to “end sectional divide between North and South and bring harmony to the Union”.

Talk is so cheap. We’ve had enough political rhetoric in this country lately to fill the south end of the Grand Canyon. I’m not mad at anyone this morning. Nor am I touting one candidate over another. I’m not too enamored with any of them if you want to know the gospel truth. I reckon I’m looking for a man with the stature of George Washington, the quiet resolve of Abraham Lincoln, the guts of Harry Truman and the youthful enthusiasm of John F. Kennedy.

This is not the time in our history for an also ran. It’s not the time for glibness, chicanery or slanderous campaign ads. It’s not the time for win-at-all-cost tactics. The stakes have become way too high for all of that. We’ve seemingly lost our direction as a nation and we’re not going to get it back with fancy words or political shamdottery.

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