Will Rogers Hits Nail On the Head

Published: Friday, November 9, 2012 at 11:29 AM.

Something here doesn’t make sense. Each of the two major presidential candidates just raised and spent nine hundred million dollars in quest of a job that pays……$400,000! You ponder on that for a moment. And then tell me what I’m missing. Does somebody high up in the political parties know something we don’t? Is there some kind of gigantic kickback coming for all the money that is laid out? This mystery is as stupefying as the Stonehenge or that Hanging Garden of Babylon or what happened to Detroit in the recent World Series.

There is just no accounting for the things a man will do to be able to salute like they are in charge when they step off a helicopter. I’m sure marching into a room to the strands of “Hail to the Chief” must be invigorating. And sleeping in the Lincoln bedroom would awaken even the most casual heart as to the awesomeness of our great history.    

But my goodness, putting in $900,000,000 to get back $400,000 is a little like Jesse James passing on the Federal First National Mining Company Bank with all the gold bullion and miners’ payroll and robbing the tiny Bailey Savings and Loan across the street. It’s like having your pick of any car on the lot and you select the Ford Pinto over the Lamborghini. You show up at the Thanksgiving dinner salivating over the turkey breast, giblet gravy and dressing……and you end up gnawing on nothing but a cold chicken neck.     

And sure, we’re all aware of the “perks of the office” and the “presidential prestige” that goes along with the job. But people, as God is my witness, there is not $800,600,000 dollars worth of perks in any job on this earth!

And one of the parties spent $900,000,000……and lost. I’d shoot myself. 

How much do you reckon eighteen hundred million is? We never got that high in grade school math. To be completely truthful, we didn’t know there was that much money in the world! We talked in nickels and dimes. We aimed high for the time; which meant a quarter for the picture show and a bag of popcorn. Two dollars would take me and Billie Jean out to eat and then to the dance in style. We didn’t even think “twenty dollar bill” or “fifty”, and a “hundred” was as foreign to us as a NC-17 movie.  

I threw away enough paper “vote for me” epistles the last week of the campaign to warm every house in America this winter. And I bet you if we had given 1.8 billion dollars to some worthy food bank they could have fed hungry people in this country well into the next election cycle. Instead of talking us to death on TV, radio, internet, etc, I wish the candidates had pooled their money and put it into social security, Medicare and job raising enterprises. How about taking Dave Ramsey’s advice and paying off our debt with the first sizable sum we can get our hands on!

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