You Talk About The Cart Before The Horse!

Published: Thursday, December 6, 2012 at 09:23 AM.

 Stop me if I’ve told you this one before…… Is time speeding up? It appears to me that days are racing by now at an incredible pace. Weeks blur into months, months spin by like fence post on the open road. Birthdays, that used to take forever, are wearing lines in my face at an alarming rate. I think it has something to do with the holes we’ve shot into the ozone. Or maybe it’s global warming. Or voice activated i-pads. Something has us in a time warp.

It’s December already! I didn’t know what to get my wife last year for Christmas…..and it’s time to do it again?

Things didn’t move at this pace growing up down at the end of Stonewall Street. I spent a week one afternoon waiting for Leon to get home with the baseball. We blew up the bedroom mixing all those chemicals that came with the Gilbert Chemistry set into one giant blob because we had too much time on our hands. We weren’t laying on our backs and trying to “make out” the different shapes of passing clouds because we wanted to. We had no other alternative! 

And there were certain days back in our formative years that almost didn’t get here at all! The last day of school comes quickly to mind. It was usually in late May. We started looking forward to it officially on January 4th.  That was the first day back to school after Christmas vacation and since there was no such thing then as “spring break”, teacher in-service days or time off for good behavior, we set our eyes on that magical day in May.

But oh boy, the math, English, spelling words and Blue Bird reading classes we had to endure to get there! Time stopped all together for two months when I was in the third grade. You would have heard about it but CNN hadn’t been invented yet. We prayed for May to come. We held séances. Ricky Hale threw a frog over his left shoulder. We studied the Julian and Lunar Calendars to see if either one had a motor on it.

It was all to no avail. I flunked algebra three times my sophomore year before May arrived.

Christmas was as equally slow in arriving. It came to Memphis weeks before it got to us! We spent so much time waiting and wishing we could smell the rubber off of that Schwinn Deluxe Hornet bicycle just by looking at a picture of it in the Sears Roebuck Catalogue. Fights would break out weeks before Christmas among my brothers over who got to open their present first. We went to bed early every night in hopes those visions of sugar plums could speed thing up a mite. Nothing helped! Do you have any idea how long I waited for that Red Ryder BB gun? Anticipation can be such a beautiful thing……unless Santa is lost over Omaha!

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