Roasting and toasating Doug Kent

Last Thursday, a motley crew assembled at the Gulf County Health Department to roast departing administrator Doug Kent.

Dorothy arrived in ruby slippers, accompanied by the cowardly lion, two men dressed in drag and at least one woman sported a goatee.

The costume-clad performers were health department employees intent on amusing the man of the hour, who laughed heartily at the ensuing inanity.

Joy Johnson spoke of Kent's singular way of speaking, which she called "Kentanese," for all its rich and evasive phrasing.

She shared her experiences as Kent's environmental science student, and later, his co-worker, wrapping things up with a nod to David Letterman's Top 10 list.

Among the "10 things Kent said when caught sleeping at his desk": "They told me at the blood bank this might happen," and "I guess I left the top off the White Out - you came in just in time."

After a series of skits filled with inside jokes only Kent and his staff could truly appreciate, employees rose from the audience to share some of Kent's words of wisdom.

For a taste:

"The county said they could not fix the brakes with our budget, so they made the horn louder."

"Whatever hits the fan will not be easily distributed."

And the crowd favorite: "I'm old and ugly but I can still pull myself up to the table."

The tribute, which included speeches from County Commissioner Bill Williams and presentations of a plaque and gifts, concluded with an all-staff Power Point tribute.

A slideshow featured exclusive photos of Kent in basketball shorts and a senior portrait accompanied by Kent's personal motto: "He who will, can."

The phrase set up a list of Kent's accomplishments, which include the health department's receipt of the state's first Federally Qualified Health Center grant, the opening of the Wewahitchka branch in 2006 and the new Women's Health Center of Excellence.

In between the plaudits, the staff slipped photos of Kent napping at his desk and doing a mean Elvis impersonation.

The presentation concluded with a personal message.

"Doug, as you sit at your last meeting here, remember the family, remember all the good times together, and if you ever need a laugh, we're just a phone call away."

Kent, who has ended his decades-long career at the health department to helm the Bay County Health Department, addressed his well-wishers with a catch in his voice.

"That brings back a lot of good memories," he said.

As Kent reflected on his accomplishments – he cited indigent care, nurses in every school and a radiology partnership with Sacred Heart -he gave credit to his determined and industrious staff.

"I think everything we did is because of you," he said.

Kent paid special tribute to some of the co-workers he'd worked closely with through the years, including medical director and mentor Ken Murphy and Gwen Exley, Kent's assistant for the last 22 years.

"The first time I gave her a letter to write, she went into the bathroom and started crying," Kent said of Exley.

"It looked like hierogylphics," Exley opined from her seat.

"It still looks like hieroglyphics today," Kent quipped.

Though Williams has long urged him to enter the financially-lucrative healthcare private sector, Kent said his heart was in public health.

He pledged to provide quality healthcare to residents of Bay County, and assured his co-workers that he'd always be there if they needed him.

"I'll just be a county over, but I'm always a friend," he said.