My dog, Doolittle weighs 95 pounds, maybe more now.  He is a Standard Poodle (the big kind).  He doesn’t sport one of those fancy haircuts; that just wouldn’t be Doolittle.

They say Standard Poodles weigh between 45 and 70 pounds.  Therefore, mine is kind of larger than he is supposed to be.  He is not fat; this is not for lack of trying.

Doolittle’s demeanor is about as sweet as a dog’s could be, but he gets into things when left unattended.  Boredom is probably the cause of it. 

Recently, Doolittle found the Easter candy stash.  He probably thought it was intended for him.  Big League Chew bubblegum, Swedish fish, Reese’s peanut butter eggs and marshmallow Peeps.  He ate it all-enough for three older children.

I’ve never been a fan of those yellow marshmallow Peeps, but I guess that didn’t rub off on my dog.  He ate two or three packages. We forgot how many we bought.

No, I don’t want my dog to get sick or die.  He is just an addict.  He did not eat the boxes the Peeps came in; I can’t say that for the wrapping on the Reese’s peanut butter eggs.

Life goes on, I suppose.  My older brother always liked those marshmallow Peeps, maybe Doolittle got this hankering for those yellow sugar coated marshmallow chickens from him.

Maybe Doolittle weighs more than 95 pounds now.  Marshmallow Peeps are only 12 calories each; I think the peanut butter eggs and bubble gum are probably more than that.

There were a couple of scientists who once did a study on marshmallow Peeps to determine what they could survive.   The company that makes them claims the yellow chicks have a shelf life of 2 years.  Honestly, I think Peeps would last longer than that.

These two scientists at Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia, found in their research that Peeps will not dissolve in water.  Moreover, the scientists found that not even sulfuric acid would dissolve the sugar crusted chickens.

The scientists need to know that the Peeps could not escape my 95+ pound big poodle.  I don’t suppose they tried very hard to get away from him.  Based on the carpet in my basement, Doolittle ate too many of them.  It was either that or he decided that he couldn’t keep the bubble gum down.

Enough about the chickens, have you heard about the Louisiana cow?

There is a young man in Slidell, Louisiana who wanted to go on a “student ambassador” trip to England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales.  It is a 19 day trip and it is going to cost the boy about $8,000 to go.

Being one of six children, the young man knew that he was going to have the raise the money for his trip on his own.  Bake sales and carwashes can only bring in so much when you are working alone.

A farmer offered the boy a cow to help out.  What did the young man do with the cow?  He decided to raffle it off.  The venture sounds logical to me.  As a matter of fact, for a 14 year-old, it sounds brilliant.

The boy is selling tickets for $10 a pop and hopes to sell a thousand.  That would more than cover the cost of his trip and perhaps give him a little spending money.

You know what happens with stories like this.

I understand that there are folks that do not eat meat and feel none of us should eat meat.  They can have their opinions, this is America.  However, they should leave this young entrepreneur alone and let him raffle his cow.

These folks sent the young man a nasty letter about mistreating cows and animals in general.  They also sent him pictures of nice looking women in lettuce bikinis.

I guess that is supposed to make us want to eat lettuce, instead of cows.

The young man is not telling anyone what to do with the cow should they win the raffle. In other words, he’s not telling them to eat it.  However, this is America, if they want to eat it, I think they still can.

On the other hand, if these lettuce bikini wearing ladies would like to come to my house and meet my dog…

He will eat lettuce, he ate an orange that had been sliced and left on the table this morning.

Me on the other hand, I would like a pear with a little mayonnaise with grated cheese and a half of maraschino cherry on the top (on a bed of lettuce).  Perhaps the ladies would share some of their lettuce with me.

I love pear salad.

Did you know the company that makes those yellow marshmallow chickens puts out enough of them each year to circle the earth twice?

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