I was reading something on a toothpaste company’s website about children losing their baby teeth and how to make it a “fun experience.” The site noted that “…this is a great opportunity to introduce your child to the Tooth Fairy if they have not already heard about her.”

 

The toothpaste folks went on to say that you could read a Tooth Fairy poem or book or share some of your childhood memories with your child to create excitement for them. In other words, you are going to get a dollar or a quarter for each tooth that falls out.

 

These folks also noted that you could use this time to build your child’s creative or artistic side by doing a project to make a special box for the lost tooth.

 

I am not real sure about all of this, I am scheduled to have one of my adult teeth yanked from my head tomorrow and I’m not looking forward to it. However, thinking about a creating a box or coffin to put my dead tooth in could do something for my artistic side (if I had one). Therefore, I yelled the question out of my office to my buddy next door, “What type of coffin should I make for my front tooth to be put in?”

 

His first response was a “licorice tin box” like the one that held the licorice that you “overdosed” on. He was trying to be funny, I did one time eat too much licorice and end up in the emergency room with my legs swollen to three times their normal size. I was eating this pure form of licorice that comes in a little tin box. He likes to bring up my near death event every time I start worrying about other insignificant things (like losing my front tooth).

 

In addition to the little tin box, he also suggested gluing my extracted dead tooth into the mouth of a set of those wind-up chattering teeth. He has a somewhat warped sense of humor I know, but he is my good buddy.

 

To be honest, I do not think I want to see that tooth again. I know it has been hit hard by at least two baseballs, one bat, a fist or two and has been planted into the ground a few times when I have fallen playing sports, skiing or riding bicycles and skateboards. It has served me well.

 

I knew the day would come. The dentist has warned me about it for years. I will accept it.

 

Now, just because I’m probably not going to put it under my pillow doesn’t mean I don’t want the Tooth Fairy to come.

 

Therefore, I searched for a poem to read in anticipation of the Tooth Fairy coming to see me. One stanza of the poem I was reading went like this, “First she got your home address and checked her fairy map, then she flew to your place where she saw your brand new gap.”

 

Honestly, the thought of the Tooth Fairy flying to my place sounds pretty exciting. However, the next stanza of the poem would probably have nothing to with her leaving me a prize or a dollar or a quarter.

 

It would probably go something like this, “After seeing your brand new gap on the front of your face, she screamed and asked how she ended up in this redneck’s place? She flew away, twice as fast as she flew in, saying something about going home and drinking gin.”

 

Maybe I will find someone to be nice to be and hopefully my fake tooth will look good enough to get me to a point where they can “screw in” a better looking one.

 

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