Don’t worry, I’m not going to show you pictures of spiders and snakes. Do you remember the 1974 song by Jim Stafford by the same title (Spiders and Snakes)? The line, “'I don't like spiders and snakes, And that ain't what it takes to love me, You fool, you fool…”


Well, it seems they have moved into my yard in a big way – the snakes at least. I don’t care how many times I tell my wife, “Those are good snakes,” she is still not buying it. This is much more difficult that the snakeskin in the garage a few years back. I kept using it to keep her out of the garage and to keep her from nagging me about cleaning the garage out.


The difficulty being that this time, these were live snakes that were still wiggling and slithering and doing other snaky things. My first encounter was when I using my electric hedge trimmers on the bushes in my front yard. I didn’t know what I had hit until it flipped into the air or “parts” of it flipped through the air.


After sending a few pictures here and there to friends, we came to the consensus that it was not poisonous. And I did not chop him up on purpose, he just happened to be in the bush. With a yard full of voles (little underground mice that tunnel in the yard and mess stuff up), I need all the help I can get and this snake would be helpful.


I’m not real sure why he was up in the bushes, but it was not a safe snake place when a fellow is operating his hedge trimmer.


A couple of days later, another one of these fellows shows up on my back patio. He probably didn’t get the memo that the deck is being rebuilt and I won’t be cooking on the grill until I have my new space. This second snake caused my wife to ask why we have so many more snakes this year.


As a math guy, I did not go into any explanation as to “two” not really being that many more than one or zero. You don’t go into those types of discussions, not with my wife anyway. If I did, I would find myself out in the yard with the snakes.


Of course, I noted that I would address the snake problem, “immediately.”


I do not know what that “immediately” means, I only know that it was the only correct answer at the time. Have you ever found yourself in those situations? You know there is no easy solution, but you go ahead and pretend that there is.


Who fights for the snakes? The good snakes, that is. I need the good snakes eating the bad snakes, voles and other critters in my yard. I do not really care to see the snakes, I just want to know that they are doing their job.


It is truly a no win situation. I am going to start by putting a few signs at ground level asking the snakes to stay out of sight. I know snakes don’t read, but it will show my wife that I did something immediately. I may also put out some discouraging snake things like human hair or perhaps a plastic owl.


I’m not real sure on the plastic owl, I would rather have a real one, but it would be hard to keep him in the yard.


You know you are truly blessed when the worst things you have to worry about are hiding good snakes from your wife and pondering plastic owls.


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