Does it scare you to think about being transparent with someone concerning the areas you struggle with?
When I first heard of the concept of accountability, I knew I needed it. In time, it became one of God’s greatest tools to help me break free of my destructive behaviors.
But accountability only works when we’re transparent. If the thought of sharing some of your most shameful moments with someone scares you too much, maybe your heavenly Father can be that Someone.
One of the safest and most secure feelings I have about God is that He knows me. Completely. I need this kind of security. I need Someone Who knows me better than I know myself. Someone I can’t hide from. Someone I can’t fool.
This is why Psalm 139:23 (ESV) is so reassuring: “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!”
In the past, I lied to myself (and others) to conceal my eating disorder and other destructive habits. I played so many games until I didn’t know for sure who I really was. But God always knew the real me. And He always will. Even today, I continue to ask God to show me any hidden and deceitful areas and give me His grace to accept the guidance and correction I need.
Have you gotten so lost in your own lies that you need Someone to fully know the real you, too? Do you want God to help you stop playing games and help you own up to your painful and sometimes sinful habits? Are you willing to let Him reveal to you your defense mechanism – the thought processes you’ve used to hide or justify your behavior? Your wise heavenly Father will gradually and lovingly reveal secret sins you’ve hidden from yourself, giving you time to heal before disclosing the next one. In time, He can give you the courage to seek out a trusted mentor to discuss your progress (or lack of it) and receive encouragement and prayer.
God is available to meet with you right now. Will you allow Him to search your heart and then transform it so you can live with less shame and regret?
I can’t begin to imagine all God knows about me, good and bad. But I’m glad He knows it all. And that He still loves me – extravagantly.
Sheryl H. Boldt is the author of the blog, www.TodayCanBeDifferent.net. You can reach her at SherylHBoldt@gmail.com