Dog owners all have “my dog ate the…” stories; it goes with the territory, especially with puppies going through their teething or chewing phase. There are many instances where dogs eat chocolate; something they are not supposed to do. One of my dogs once ate a whole bag of chocolate “kisses,” which I felt terrible about, but after he got really sick like a drunk sailor, he was fine.


Yes, I know chocolate can be poisonous for dogs and I called the vet and based on my dog’s weight, he needed to eat a few more bags of kisses for it really to be harmful. That was many years ago and that particular dog has passed away (as a result of old age, rather than chocolate kisses).


I’ve read about dogs eating wet cement, poisonous spiders, books, tin foil, Christmas tree decorations, toilet paper and all kinds of other things that just wouldn’t strike most of us as appetizing. Everyone always says to get them chew toys, rawhide or bones, to keep them busy. But dogs, like many people seem to always want what others have. Whether it be the meal you are currently eating or your children’s toys.


Dogs are supposed to be our best friends, which I do think is true. As a best friend, one would assume that you share things. This being from the dog’s point of view of course. Therefore, if you left pizza or steak on the counter and they could reach it, they would have to assume it was put there for them to enjoy. Again, from the dog’s point of view.


Well, the other night I was sitting in my chair halfway watching one of these reality shows where men and women are trying to get paired up, among other things. It is quite scary what these young people say and do. It seems they are just asking for a bad case of mononucleosis or something much worse.


Way back when, I used to watch Monte Hall and his show, “Let’s Make a Deal.” You could win a new washer and dryer, exciting vacation, new car, or get “zonked” by getting a bad prize, like a goat. This “get together” show I was watching is very similar to Monte’s show, in that there is a lot of trading significant others it seems, and many times folks get zonked or make bad choices.


As I sat watching the television, I became more interested in my daughter’s dog, “Wilson,” who was spending his last night with me. He was tearing up one of his chew toys – it seemed to be a stuffed unicorn. There were fluffy white balls all over the floor and pieces of fabric that used to be a unicorn. He had even gotten the plastic “squeaker” out of the unicorn and was having a good time with it.


About that time, the sounds changed from tearing and squeaking to “crunching.” My wife started yelling that Wilson had something in his mouth. She would say she wasn’t yelling, but she was. She was concerned that he had something he wasn’t supposed to have.


He did.


My wife pulled the dog’s jaws apart so I could reach in there and pull out what he was crunching on. Then again, maybe I pulled his jaws apart and she reached in and got the contraband. It was all such a blur…


I know this; what I ended up with were pieces of what used to be my front tooth/flipper gadget that fits in the roof of my mouth. You know, a tooth on a retainer type gizmo.


We made sure we had all of the pieces and he didn’t actually ingest anything – again, my wife was more worried about the dog. I was upset.


Knowing the price I paid for this tooth and that it had to last a few months before I could get a more permanent solution, made me more than a little angry. I guess I was angrier at myself for putting it on the table by my chair while I was eating. I never saw him get my tooth – perhaps I was too concerned about the couples on television needing to be vaccinated for various diseases.


One thing was for sure, I was going to have to face the next day at work a bit “snaggle-toothed.” My co-workers and my students got a kick out of it– I took a little ribbing.


It was not the best of days, but I have gone through much worse.


Luckily, my dentist had me fixed up by the end of the next day, due to our diligence in pulling all of the pieces of my flipper/front tooth out of the “Jaws of Wilson.”


Other than having a little bit of a hankering for a rawhide bone, I seem to be doing alright.


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