With my wife out of town, I’ve been driving “her” car that she actually says is “our” car, but we all know how that can go. I wanted her to have it and I only drive it when she is out of town. It has a lot of fancy features that I am not used to having.

One of the main things that takes some getting used to, is the “Lane Departure” warning system which alerts you by various means if you start to veer out of your lane or even if you change lanes without using your turn signal. It is very much like having your Mama riding in the backseat and popping you upside the head when you get out of line.

The warning system on this particular vehicle causes the steering wheel to vibrate and kind of nudges you back in the way it thinks you should be going. Again, almost, if not exactly, like a good Mama pushing you back in line. How many times in life has that happened to you?

Our (Her) vehicle also has all kinds of lights and noises to keep you from changing lanes if someone is coming up on either side of you. In other words, it says or alerts you, “Hey there is something over there in the way of where you think you need to go – wait until it’s safe for you to go.”

I kind of like that.

We all need to know when it is safe to change lanes, pass, and just get out of the way sometimes – another life lesson.

This vehicle even puts the brakes on if it thinks you are too close to the car in front of you. Nice, but it can also be a little scary – almost like having a Driver’s Ed teacher sitting on the passenger side hitting that extra brake pedal they always had on Driver’s Ed cars.

Cameras so you can see where you are backing up to and if there is anything you don’t want to hit is behind you, are becoming standard in many new vehicles. This one yells at you if there is something behind you. Again, almost like having Mama in the backseat and the Driver’s Ed teacher in the passenger seat.

One thing that I do appreciate about this vehicle and the new features is that it does not have any type of ability to question my actions, route decisions or the many things I might say while driving that I do not want others to hear.

Yes, I am prone to give much advice to people driving in the left lane on the interstate too slow, folks driving in the middle lane at 15 miles an hour below the speed limit and those who do not understand the meaning of a yield sign or purpose of a good old-fashioned blinker.

I talk a lot to others… while driving. They need my advice, even though they never get to hear it. If they heard it, they would probably be upset. It’s something I can’t do, or know better (most of the time) to do with others in the car.

So if this fancified vehicle starts telling me things like, “Shut your mouth,” “Mind your own business” or “Have you considered they might be lost?” - I will not drive it anymore.

There is some advice that is valuable and there is some that takes the fun of driving and talking to yourself and other people who don’t know you are talking to them (because they need your advice on how to drive).

I enjoy the map things that talk to you and tell you how to get places based on the address or location you have named it.

After taking three weeks off from work over the holidays, I got in the car and told my phone I wanted to go to work. I sometimes have traffic and like to take the least congested route on my 20 mile commute. After asking my phone to take me to work, my phone came back with, “I can’t find that location.”

I knew exactly how my phone felt.

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