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Overcome evil with good in your marriage

By Sheryl H. Boldt
Special to The Star

When my marriage isn’t in a good place, I find it hard – even painful – to read how-to-have-a-better-marriage articles. They highlight the areas my husband, Bert, and I fail in. If you’re in this place, I understand. 

But if you’re desperate enough to read just one more article – from a fellow struggler – then hear me out. 

Sheryl H. Boldt

Remember when you and your spouse proudly described each other as your “better half”? Lately, however, has it felt more like you treat each other as enemies?  

Whenever Bert and I put our own needs ahead of each other’s, we allow wickedness to overcome goodness. We become easily offended and critical. We refuse to forgive each other and allow ungodly behaviors to dwell in our home and pervade our marriage. 

I wonder how our disagreements look from God’s perspective. How our squabbles sound in His ears. How our hearts appear in light of His pierced hands. 

Romans 12:21 (AMPC) says, “Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome (master) evil with good.” 

What if we determined not to let evil defeat our marriage? (Emphasizing the word “let”) What would happen if we chose to conquer the bad stuff in our marriage with honorable (Christ-like) behavior? What if we each did our best to regain the closeness we once had with our spouse?   

We have a choice. We can ask God to help us build up our marriage, or we can choose to tear it down, one selfish act or remark at a time. Are we willing to do what it takes to have the relationship we crave?  

We can start now, beginning with the biggest eyesore in our relationship: selfishness. Whom will we put first today – ourselves or our spouse? Will we be the one to step up to forgive? Or is it always our spouse’s turn? Rather than snapping at each other, will we take the time to listen? 

The sooner we stop letting our evil behavior poison our marriage, the sooner we’ll stop seeing our spouse as our enemy. And the sooner we’ll brag, once again, about our better half. 

Sheryl H. Boldt is the author of the blog, Connect with her at